Other disciplines involve mostly solitary practice, Tantra uses the interaction between partners as a springboard both for personal growth and for deepening intimacy.  One basic assumption of Tantra is that sexual energy is the root energy of life. Other states in human experience, such as opening of the heart (compassion and love) and stimulation of the mind (inspiration and logical thinking) are made possible as this root energy is refined. An evolutionary theory is often put forth to explain how the energy often remains largely "trapped" in lower energy centers (known as chakras).

As this theory goes, men, being biological conditioned to propagate the human species by spreading their genes, have much of their energy dammed up in the sexual center. Women, perhaps because of their biological impetus to nurture their offspring, center their energies in the heart area. Hence the remarked upon difference is in the ways in which the sexes view the sexual experience: men are more able to remain emotionally aloof, while women are more prone to emotional attachment. If men have a tendency to focus their energies in the genital region, then, it stands to reason that they would experience a buildup of pressure and live out that "tomcat on the prowl" stereotype as a means of alleviating it. Tantric practice poses other solutions, which involve grabbing hold of this basic energy and moving it upwards through the other chakras.  

The ideal moment to do this - because of the concentration of energy - is right before reaching climax, either during lovemaking or self-pleasuring. The technique involves the manipulation of what is known as the PC muscle, which is located between the genitals and the anus, and one's breathing. You can feel the PC muscle contracting if you stop yourself in the midst of urinating. Once you've isolated it, practice contracting and relaxing it. This muscle is involved in most Tantric exercises that involve any kind of bodywork. The rest of the technique is fairly simple. When you're nearing the "point of no return" during whatever form of sexual activity, cease stimulation (i.e., pull out or stop stimulating yourself). Then contract the PC muscle, lower your chin to your chest (this is important, as it prevents energy from rising too high and making you feel ungrounded) and draw an in-breath, feeling the warmth of sexual energy rise upwards in your body. Repeat this as needed, until the urge to release is no longer urgent. 

Does it sound like such a hard technique? It can seem this way at first, but you'll likely find that when you do it you feel a relief of sexual pressure immediately. It's almost as if you do experience release - but it happens within the body. The energy has literally moved out of the sexual center, though not through ejaculation. If done correctly, this exercise can reduce the state of over arousal that's responsible for premature ejaculation. It requires a little practice to discover how much use of it will prolong lovemaking to the extent that you want without extinguishing your desire entirely. A fine balance is required, but this is something you can feel a judge for yourself without much trouble as you work with the practice.

The Jade Lotus Tantra Massage program teaches you these skills and techniques through its initial 3 level foundational program.